astrid went home that day feeling unfulfilled.
“life is unsettling” she said outloud. she meant to say it to the cat on the counter sitting next to the microwave whose plate was spinning round and round with a hot pocket inside.
her cat’s name was bam bam.
she called her bam for short.
her mom had quite the lifestyle. her mom elena, often brought college aged “friends over to the house to talk about life with. she didn’t really know these people, but elena had inherited a trust fund from her grandmother and instead of spending it all at once, she was excellent at saving money. she had decided to live a middle class life even though she had a lot of money.
many people could sense elena’s money so they wanted to use her but elena was miserable. elena just wanted to have friends. so she made quick friends with young people who she was smarter than and then when she was done with them she moved on to greener pastures. astrid’s mother had requested that astrid call her elena all the time. she didn’t want people knowing that she was a single mother. astrid felt upset by this but just couldn’t bring herself to say anything. she really wanted to be cool enough to be included in her mother’s circle of “friends” but usually she wasn’t. she just got to watch and learn.
mike was the latest of elena’s sexual escapades and he was disgusting.
mike was a polo prep who astrid really thought was a little too young for elena and honestly too masculine to have sex with. masculine is the dirty grungy type of person that is too gross for you to have inside of you.
the majority of men these days are too masculine.
elena had apparently told him she wouldn’t get him a beer.
good for you, mom, astrid thought privately to herself.
karma then turned on astrid and mike swiped the hot pocket that had just finished cooking in the microwave.
luckily the cat sensed the overwhelming horrible nature of mike and started attacking mikes ankles and then even worse mike kicked the cat off and it hit a kitchen counter.
after this horrible turn of events, astrid was burning with fury. she couldn’t attack mike because he was so obviously abusive and masculine. she had to turn to her cat, bam bam.
“everything is going to be okay bam bam. we will get you to the emergency vet right away! MO – I mean, ELENA!
IT’s AN EMERGENCY!”
“what the hell is going on in here?”
mike was casually eating a hot pocket and then he slammed the door of the microwave and yelled at elena as though he was the victim.
he began to accuse Bam Bam of attacking him.
“That Damn Cat has got to go! It is FERAL. It belongs in the wild. Or maybe, we should put it to sleep. God knows what I’ve been through! Look at my ankle!”
“Elena, please believe me, Mike stole my hot pocket! Bam Bam was just defending my honor. I think if anyone has got to go, it’s Mike. Animals have feelings. They can sense when something is off with someone. He ABUSED BAM BAM!”
Elena had to think about it for a few minutes. She stood there stone cold rubbing her temples.
“Mike you are out. Peace.”
HE flipped her off and he took the hot pocket with him and he slammed the door. he then realized that he was just wearing boxers and he came back inside to get his clothes and elena wouldn’t let him in.
“NO. I will get your keys, but you can’t have your clothes.
You violate my family’s personal space in this way and abuse my pets. You are leaving in what you are wearing.”
Astrid saw his walk of shame to the crap Camero he drove for some unknown reason, and then he drove away very slowly to an unknown place that she didn’t care where it was.
A few hours after everything had cooled down and elena and astrid had returned from the emergency vet’s office and bam bam was in good hands, the phone rang.
“Who is this?”
“Um, it’s Logan.”
“Really? I mean, Um, Logan. Why are you calling me? Why are you calling my house?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay. It seemed like you had a difficult day at school. You were late, and people were mean, and then we had a difficult assignment…. I just, um, was checking.”
“Why yes, I, I am, fine. Perfect. As dandy a parent who just found out that their child got into Harvard on a full ride would be.”
“If I was a parent who found out my child got into Harvard on a full ride I would be very concerned.”
“They would be about to flee the nest.”
“My parent is not concerned about that.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Well, are you ok?”
“Not really, no.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I’m really worried about the art.”
“Yeah. I just want it to be as accurate as possible.”
“I mean. Yeah?”
“Okay, well, how can I help you?”
“Well, what is your favorite color?”
“Um, I really like Gold.”
“Why, what’s wrong”
“No, it’s just your aura, it’s um, no, never mind.”
“You can see my aura?”
“I can sense your aura.”
“What color is your aura?”
“Haha! I don’t know.”
“Well what is your favorite color?”
“Yeah. Okay, well I have some other homework to do, so do you want to talk later?”
“Yeah, later is good.”
astrid’s supposed aura shot out of her skull and went all the way to the sun, the golden sun where she assumed that her energy came from to make an aura.