What was the one toy that a friend had that you wished you had when you were little?

I had a friend who had a Playstation. I thought it was so fun to go to her house and play Spyro. I usually could only get past level one. It was very sad. I kept playing level one over and over. What ended up happening was when I was 6 I ended up getting a Nintendo 64. It was a beautiful realization of my dreams coming true. I played Diddy Kong Racing, I played Banjo Kazooie (I still haven’t beaten the mirror world of Diddy Kong, and I haven’t beaten Banjo) and actually I’m not a very talented gamer. Really the appeal of gaming was that I didn’t have to actually socialize with people and I could live in an imaginary world and watch a story happen. At the time the stories weren’t very interesting and the games were more action oriented than they are now, now I prefer games that rely on storytelling more (Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Epic Mickey, and I even ventured to the computer during middle school to play neopets and got bored when I realized that I was wasting my time clicking a mouse on a computer that was older than my phone. So time passed and I recieved an XBOX 360 and I began playing Halo 3. I thought it was totally awesome and I was the center of attention in an imaginary world that I CREATED. I became a different Christa. I had guys, boys, men, fawning over me, sending me friend request after friend request. I was finally popular. Even if it wasn’t RL, it was real to me. The realization I eventually came to was that people who are popular in RL, aren’t even being themselves in RL. So, I guess I actually was cool, which meant that I didn’t want to be cool, and so I had to change the game again. I had to be ME. People didn’t like it. They stopped being my friend. I stopped playing video games. I am now friendless and alone and I spent a whole lot of time imagining things that weren’t real in order to learn an important thing, video games aren’t important, and the only purpose they serve is destressing and that was only when I played alone, and then sometimes I felt lonely. I was aware of my complete and total disaster. I needed to find a part of myself that loved myself enough to be happy to be alone FOREVER. I didn’t want to spend time with people who didn’t love me, it was ok that people didn’t love me because I didn’t actually love them either and did I really want to be in a relationship that lacked true love? NO WAY. so i had to search for myself. It took a long time.


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