if i was going to write a legitimate novel start to finish about one topic: GO

Welcome to my life I live in a cornfield. We have corn maizes, and by maize I not only mean natural corn from the native americans but corn “mazes” where you get lost in the maze and not only could a murder happen, but also no one could find you so you could starve to death with only uncooked corn to eat or you could have a really romantic first kiss.

Okay, I don’t actually live in a cornfield, I live in Stoney Farm, USA which is famous for producing the most corn in any american town. They create ethanol, corn syrup, popcorn. and even paper made out of corn husks. We also attract many people who love tamales. We are one of those towns that no one knows about until you pass by on the highway and see like at least 12 billboards talking about all the corn products that we have.

Apparently we are a great town with a vibrant community and we have a wonderful education program that produces amazing leaders. Some of our high school graduates have go on to become South Carolina’s State Pageant winners. Some of us have grown up to be congressman, senators, and even CIA and FBI workers.

But I believe I will become the most important person to leave this community for good.

My dream is to create a car that runs entirely on corn.

I created an idea to start this progression of my future invention that would turn into my future business in chemistry class. We were have a lengthy discussion about the benefits of ethanol in the use of gasoline. It was then that we went on a lengthy tangent about hybrid cars and electric cars that didn’t need any gasoline at all. I needed to save this town. So many people relied on corn to live. It was dying. First of all, there were so many genetically modified corn variants sold on the mass market that most people didn’t even eat corn anymore. Indian corn wasn’t really that popular to eat, and so in my mind the only thing corn was good for was energy and fall fashion.

I presented the idea of me researching a way to develop a vehicle that would run completely on ethanol to my teacher and she loved the idea. Apparently she told a local university about me and my idea because later that month when I returned home I received and envelope under my door. The weird thing was, it wasn’t under my front door. It was under my bedroom door. I began to get oddly panicky and thought someone may have broken in and have had access to my room. I talked to my parents about it and they said everything was fine.

I started to consider the facts. I lived in a weird city obsessed with corn.

I wanted to develop a way to use corn on the mass market.

And now some really smart people were taking notice of my idea although I was sure I couldn’t have been the only person to have come up with that idea before.

I opened the envelope. Inside was not what I had expected.

Dear Barthalemew Brenton Johnston,

We, the brothers of the house of Delta Nu Kappa Class of 2015, would like to invite you to our invite only fiesta at the South Carolina University Beach Party Spring Break Celebration. Please do not let anyone know you have received this invitation, if you need transportation, please call the phone number listed.  Attire is beach casual, swim attire is not optional, Please bring suncreen, a towel, and a camera or cameraphone. The Brothers would like to welcome you as a future pledge which does by no means guarantee you a place in the brotherhood but gives you an extended time to meet with the current house. We are inviting you because we see great potential in your qualities and skills and think that you might do well in our fraternity which excels in all things. Please do not mention your contact with us to anyone until the day of the Beach Party which will take place on March 15. Thank you Brenton. (that is what we have decided to address you as)

walla walla peace to alla yalla

Delta Nu Kappa Class of 2015

Time passed as Brenton worked on ideas for his project. He read books and engineering research at the library.

He studied the cellular biology of corn and the chemical compounds of ethanol and gasoline.

He learned about cars and trucks.

Time passed. Mostly he thought about the letter.

Finally the day came for him to go to the beach party. He got into his car and interestingly enough  by that time he had developed a temporary solution. He could take an electric car and put ethanol into the gas tank and it would run for a little while that way. The car wasn’t fully charged but he had backup ethanol just in case he ran out of a charge.

He was driving to the beach which took a couple of hours.

On his way he ran out of power and had to pull onto the shoulder. He poured the ethanol into the tank and then he was going again. Somehow though there was a system failure and he pulled onto the shoulder again.

He was very frustrated and he got the invitation and he called the number listed. Some guy answered the phone.

“Yo it’s Simon. What’s the DEETS?”

“Hello, Simon, This is Brenton, I was invited to the Beach Party? My car is dead. I might need some assistance getting there?”

“Sure, Simon helps his friends out whenever possible where are you?”

“I’m on HWY 29!”

“Where on HWY 29?”

“By a tree!”

“By which exit? East or west?”

“Um, I don’t exactly have a gps with me at the moment. I’m a bit lost.”

“It’s fine I’ll just track your phone.”
“You can do that?”

“Yeah I’m a computer engineering major.”


“See you soon Brendon!”

“It’s Brenton!”


So after Simon picked up Brenton and they had to leave his car on the side of the highway, they arrived at the Beach Party shortly thereafter in a much cooler car than Brenton’s would have been. What wasn’t expected was that there were naked girls all over the place. And by naked I don’t mean topless, I mean naked.

“So that’s why swimwear wasn’t optional.”

“I gotta go man….”

Simon runs up to a girl and starts massaging her nipples. She starts moaning. Everything starts moving very slowly. The electro music is playing and Brenton is looking at boobs and vaginas everywhere and his boner is hard and it needs to go somewhere very fast.

He sees a rubber duck floating in the hot tub next to an amazing woman with fake boobs. They are just, gorgeous pieces of work. Brenton would like to thank the surgeon who did that work.

He gets in the hot tub and says hi to the girl. He looks down to notice that she too also is not wearing any clothes.

“So is this like a brothel?”

“Haha, no. We are the sister house of the Delta Nu Kappa. I’m a Phi Alpha Beta, My name is Laci. Would you like me to come a little bit closer?”

“Yes, um, sure?”

Brenton wasn’t very experienced.

Her boobs were approaching very quickly but there was a small problem, the rubber duck floating in the pool somehow got stuck between his face and her boobs. She didn’t notice and he only slightly cared, so he stuck his fingers in her vag. He began to gently massage


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