after all these years you wanted one thing
a bear hug from you to me
you wanted my hug firm, for me to hug you back
you wanted me so dearly to love you back
you just don’t understand how much i do grandma
mema, i named you that, i called you that, i have always loved you.
i used to have fantasy adventures in your gardens
and explore imaginary castles.
i stole your stationary and used up all your stamps to send letters to fake people
they would never receive them and i wasted your 2 cents.
all of your envelopes were all over your floor,
you scolded, yelled at me…
i cried, never more.
you made me hot chocolate and coconut pie,
i didn’t want the merengue, you never understood why
you ate it for me, you loved it so much
you were such a wonderful cook those days, your fried chicken, and gravy… mmm yum.
i have pictures of when i was too young to remember of a picnic we had out on the ranch
it was just me and you and we crawled in the grass.
you were there my whole life and we took each other for granted.
but today’s your birthday mama, and i know it, i’m celebrating.
i want you to realize, if you are loopy, crazy, demented, it’s ok.
i’m with you there. i live in the hospital too a lot.
i see doctors and get confused. i’m compared to elderly patients or toddlers,
the same way you are.
i get in arguments about things with my dad and he’s your son,
we all worry about each other, we all care, we all love.
but today is your birthday, it’s all for you, i’ll give you what you want to do, anything for you!