Are you satisfied?

Oh my goodness, it’s that time again.

the time when yet once upon a time I lift the pen.

my fingers reach toward the keys, begin to type,

so many letters pour out, weeping, sweeping across the page, ink, fonts, writing, it’s in the way of what I’m trying to say.

i miss you once again you see, and that’s why I have addressed this love letter to thee. For this queer reason you are the most important thing, I protect you, though you never respond, write, back, give a damn, and everything you do is one-sided, making me come to you.

you are this knightly person, a gentleman of sorts, of higher stature, ego, a maniac, not someone who would be seen with a middle class person suburban girl, someone like me. I’m this odd one eccecntric, I drive everyone away, leave me alone I always say, the phrase of the day, scrabble is your thing, mind games are mine, give me a riddle, and I may never solve it but if it’s romantically related to you and I I’ll sit here overthinking the problem for the rest of my life, you just think about the words I say and why I said then nothing more nothing less, not a deeper thing like what is she thinking about and does she want me right now?

im lying here half naked ready to go but you aren’t here so I’m not satisfied.

i could please myself partially and I’ll try again but the point is until we are together in bed it’s not a win win.

just think about my self awareness. If I saw naked pictures of myself on a tabloid id laugh as long as we were happy, we stayed that way we had each other, through all the dark days. Stop worrying about what you’ll do to me bc you are doing it now, if you don’t stop you’ll always be doing it someway somehow.


i miss you.



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