shadow totem

When the risks involved with authenticity are greater than the potential payoffs of the authenticity, we are usually not authentic. – teal swan 

my spirit animal is a panda bear

my shadow totem is either a spider or an octopus. all i know is it has 8 legs or members and it’s really smart. and people don’t really want to go up to it normally. an octopus has tentacles that stick to things and spiders have hairs that can climb up walls, so my shadow totem could really be either one. i don’t have the best balance and i have this curiosity that octopuses have, and it’s possible that i have eyes in the back of my head like a spider. i enjoy feasting on squid and octopii. and an octopus is one of my favorite animals. spiderman is also really cool.

even if my love does not love me i will continue to love on and on until the day i die.

essentially i am already commited.

i am not afraid of love and i am not afraid of being loved, i think what i’m afraid of is showing this love to the entire planet and having it potentially interupted.


but even if it was. i will still stay in love.

even if he cheats, even if he leaves me.


the only thing he could do, is cause me pain. physical and mental torments and agony worse than i have ever felt.


and i don’t think he knows the scale on which i am referring.


my birthmother was a marine and my birthfather was a millionare and a criminal on the run.

i come from blood able to handle extreme sorts of torture especially when in love.

a woman knows.





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